One minute you were filing a divorce petition in a New Hampshire court; the next, you are trying to figure out how to avoid contention and stress as you learn to co-parent as part of your family’s new lifestyle. Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to ruin your or your children’s lives. Keeping several helpful ideas in mind can make it easier to maintain a peaceful child custody relationship with your ex.
It is not uncommon for disagreements to arise between parents after divorce in connection with child custody issues. However, if you have a court order in place, you’re already one step ahead. As long as both parents adhere to the agreed-upon terms, it should keep legal problems at bay.
Keep child custody exchanges short and sweet
Especially if you don’t get along well with your ex, it’s best to make custody exchanges as swift and painless as possible. It is also a good idea to choose neutral ground as the location for an exchange, such as a restaurant parking lot, local library or a public park. An amicable greeting and transfer of any items children are taking with them to the other parent’s house is all that is necessary.
If there are unique issues to address, it may be better to correspond ahead of time, either by phone, text or email, rather than get into a long conversation at a custody exchange point.
Share joyful moments that you have with your children with your ex
While your marriage may not have worked out the way you had hoped, this doesn’t mean that you and your ex must be against each other as parental adversaries. In fact, it may help your kids cope better if you and your ex share photos and text messages when one or the other has had a special time with the kids. Sharing positive experiences helps develop a peaceful co-parenting relationship.
Additional tips to help maintain child custody peace
The following list includes several more ways to help avoid co-parenting problems:
- Handle issues between adults in private, not in front of the kids.
- Use apps and online calendars to help with child custody schedules.
- Be willing to share the work, as well as the fun.
If one parent feels that he or she is handling all of the logistics and work that goes into co-parenting while the other parent gets all the fun, it can spark contention that can lead to many problems, including legal issues.
Work as a team and try to resolve disagreements peacefully
You love your kids and want what’s best for them, especially as they learn to adapt to the changes divorce has brought to their lives. If your ex isn’t cooperating or is disregarding a child custody order, it is always best to seek additional support, as needed, to try to resolve the issue in as swift and amicable a manner, as possible.